When writing my exam I felt that I was much more prepared than last time, mostly off of knowing what not to do. Mainly in terms of organization but also means of analyzation and the fact that apparently overthinker isn’t a word. in terms of all that I definitely improved. BUT, In focusing on this i overlooked many of the other improvements I needed to make. This mainly had to do with my technique. I have had a hard time moving away from using big words to fill up room and impress teachers and moving towards being straightforward and clear. this is heightened by the fact I probably spent too much time thinking and deleting things and a less ideal amount of time editing. I have quickly noticed that the most challenging thing for me in the DP program is writing essays, specifically in class ones. I either go in to class with no plan and completely ad lib the whole thing or I make a plan and continue to do exactly the same thing because my plan wasn’t detailed enough. I also tend to write like a creative writer even in evaluative essays because I am used to it. In general, my main issue is adapting from middle school short story writing which I did a huge amount (almost daily) and switching to the more simple but direct system of essay writing.
According to the marking on my analysis of “Let Evening Come”, error 23 (unclear or awkward expressions) is still the most severe and common error I make in writing. I am still learning to use a simple structure to construct a sentence. What my grade 5 English teacher told me, “Less is more”, meaning writing less yet simply is better than writing a lot but unclear, is something I must keep working on. In the future, I will try to use simple diction to express my ideas to make them as clear as possible.
I also made a lot of spelling mistakes throughout the essay. I was confused between words with similar spellings including “syllables” and “syllabus”; “empathize” and “emphasize”. I will pay more attention to the spelling and meaning of words in the future.
In the aspect of analyzing, I figured out the direction to analyze it. However, I did not explain the significance of the subject and connect it to the central idea of my analysis. I can explain further and make connection with my central idea of my essay in the future.
After reading the feedback about my essay, I learned that I have to focus more about the way letters are spoken. I did a major mistake with concentrating about the way the words sounded. All in all I focused too much about what is said, not about how it is said.
After receiving our “Let Evening Come” Practice Paper 1, and tallying up our mistakes, I saw that the most common mistake I had made was the same as my last practice paper. That being number 29 “Omit needless words.” I find myself struggling with this a lot, and do it in pretty much everything I write. When reading my essay, I noticed that I had a lot of super unnecessary details and extra words that added no real value to my writing. In order to help correct this ongoing error, I honestly think I just need to practice writing more. This way, I can go through the steps of planning out my essay and writing it, and then go back through it and strip it of any pretentious sounding, meaningless details. This will help me to become a more efficient writer, and will prevent me from wasting mine and my audiences time with taking forever to get to the point.
When my practice paper one was handed back to me, I noticed new errors. My most common errors were using present tense, weaving my quotations with no prior explanation of the situation and putting the incorrect line citation at the end of a quotation. In order to fix my present tense error I will have to remember writing in the present tense, this can also be done through practice. My second error was weaving my quotations with no prior explanation of the situation. I would always address the significance of the quotation however, I would lack in explaining it beforehand and mentioning the situation and what the quotation was about. I will need to remember this vital step in setting up a quotation, memorizing these steps on quotations and practicing will develop this habit for me. Thirdly, writing the incorrect line citation at the end. For example, I would write a quote like; “Let the shed go black inside.” (II 9-8) II does not represent lines. I can fix this by remembering the correct citation.
The completion of Let Evening Come, paper 1 practice, has taught me a few new techniques and fixed some of my previous mistakes. Most notable is error 23 “Unclear or awkward expression; or the wrong word.” My errors for the paper 1 practice of which I would like to focus on fixing are error 2, 10, and 13.
After receiving my paper back, I notice my thesis statement was quite vague, resulting to a weak declaration regarding my assertions. This mistake about declaring my assertions may had been due to my use of weak assertions and inability to use such assertions into my paragraph, which resulted in a weak essay (still an improvement to my previous essays). Although I have improved error 23, it has been replaced with error 10. In order to improve my essay for next time, I will need to take more time in my assertion choices and plan which quotes I will use as evidence and how to weave it in smoothly into my paragraph.
A summary of the mistakes I made while writing my terrible explanation of how to create mood in a poem. This essay gained its abhorrent status the moment I put pen to paper, causing havoc in errors and mistakes. These mistakes can be separated in two ways. First, weak arguments can quickly become empty body paragraphs that don’t serve a purpose, and Second Careless mistakes were made from a lack of thought, poor proofreading, and the manic time crunch to try and write something legible. Punctual errors and improper use of capitalization would also fall under the canopy of carelessness and haste. Most, if not all, these mistakes could be fixed in one simple but arduous task of going through your work with a fine tooth comb, but this can be unpleasant, like listening to your voice recorded.
All of this matters less whether or not there was any improvement. Compared to the last essay, I have improved in reducing the number and severity of the errors I make. I am happy with that for now, and it will be intriguing to see if I continue to improve or hit a wall of mistakes I can’t entirely fix for some reason, i.e., spelling mistakes.
As I went through my text after I received it, I noticed way less grammar mistakes than I usually had, but the problem was rather the way I described the poem, more like re-telling it, rather than describing “ the mood it was establishing” .
The thing I need to work on is making sure I quote correctly. I can improve, by analyzing previous texts and/or other texts which show the correct way of quoting sentences, and remember to do that for the actual paper.
The other mistake, which does not have a quick or easy fix, is using unclear expressions. My best solution would be saying the thing I want to say, as it is, if I am not sure how to express my simile.
In order to improve my marks in this course, I will have to tune my skills in a variety of different aspects of both my writing and organization.
First off, I am admittedly horrible at placing my quotations into my writing. I have a bad habit of neglecting to use transition words or phrases, and as a result, just paste a quotation into the middle of a sentence. The results of this habit are clunky, awkward, and difficult to read sentences, which at times are incomprehensible.
To build on my previous paragraph, I consistently receive a graded exam covered in the number “23” scribbled in red ink. A consequence of my clunky quotation placement is the awkward or unclear sentence. I committed this error more frequently than any other, by far. This mistake has continued to be detrimental to my writing. I recognize in order to improve my writing as a whole, I have to write my sentences with more care, in order to maintain clarity. This small adaption would improve all other aspects of my writing.
Finally, easily the most fixable, yet most annoying mistake, error 47. On every summative I am given, no matter how careful and observant I am in the proofreading stage, I always miss this one tiny mistake. Placing a line citation in parentheses is the bane of my existence. This one, tiny error results in difficult to read sentences, and inhibits clarity. If I am able to make this small adjustment, I can greatly improve the quality of my writing.
Writing an essay on “Let Evening Come” was a good learning experience and taught me what I need to focus on. To improve my grade, I need to learn and practice basic grammar/spelling and provide a better analysis of the text. My most common errors were grammar mistakes like not using the possessives properly and comma errors. Another problem was random capital letters throughout the essay. I believe these errors to be a result of rushing. The spelling of words was also a mistake I frequently made by switching the order of the letters. From receiving my spelling and grammar feedback I learned that I need to slow down so that I make fewer mistakes. Another thing that would help me with these mistakes is to learn grammar and spelling rules and practice them in my free time. The second thing I need to improve on is my analysis of the text. In my essay for one paragraph, I wrote about diction and focused on what the text was saying which was a mistake. I looked for meaning and elaborated on things that were not actually in the text. Instead, I should have focused on how the text was written. From the feedback, I have received I learned that I need to analyze how the author creates mood through imagery, structure, sound effects, and diction and not the content of the text. Something that I think would be beneficial for improving all mistakes is to do a more effective job editing my essay after the initial first draft.
Passage 1: At that moment I realized that this shabby flat strewn with trash was my apartment; and that Philip Pirrip, once my best friend, and Georgiana, once my sworn love, had packed and left; and that happiness, contentment, purpose, calm, and tranquility, everything in fact that I valued, had also packed and left; and that the urban wilderness outside my apartment, intersected with streets and subways and elevated trains, with faceless people hurrying through it, was my home; and that the dark land beyond the city was the world; and that the vast unknowable void from which the screaming in my ears seemed to come, was the cosmos; and that the miserable, useless, despicable heap of self-pity curling into a ball amid the filth and shaking uncontrollably, was me.
Passage 2: A tearful man, all in maroon fleece, with little hair on his head. A man with a brown hat, and with brown shoes, and with a COVID mask tied round his neck. A man who had been mired in poems, and buried in plays, and puzzled by metaphors, and bored by similes, and lulled by iambs, and thrilled by rhymes; who sang, and chanted, and recited and howled; and whose eyes glittered in his head as he marked my essay by the Key.