Here is why I am about to have a mental collapse, I am just so tired of having to translate everything people say to me here in Canada, I am not saying I don´t understand, it is just so exhaustive the feeling of having to know what everything means in another language. That is what I have done since I was little, spanish is my mother tongue so I don´t have a problem when speaking it but everything started to go wrong when speaking portuguese. Can you imagine how difficult it was for a five years old to not know if she was supposed to speak spanish or portuguese in front of other people? Or to know what words are in spanish and whhich are in portuguese? Now I know when to speak spanish and when to speak portuguese and, I can have a normal conversation in both languages because I am fluent, I have practiced them my whole life so the translation is automatic. My problem is english! I barely knew any slang before coming here and I don´t know the meaning for many words so when having a conversation it is kind of difficult. But what is harsh is me trying to express myself and not being able to!! Also, I miss my family so much, the other day I got sick and usually my mom takes care of me, she has taken care of me for 15 years so I got used to it but now that she is not here, I didn´t know what to do and sometimes when I just need a hug she is not there so, it hurst a lot. Additionally, December is coming and I am going to Mexico, my problem is that I don´t like Mexico, I don´t want to go back, most of the people are just not the type of people I like to be around, there are earthquakes, there is a lot of traffic, it is not safe to walk on the street and the fact that I´m going to see people that I don´t like is just ughhhhh!!!! I also have a fear of heights and what could go wrong on a flight, it will be the first time I will fly alone, that is pretty stressful.
In conclusion, this is just 1/4 of the reasons why I am going to have a mental collapse, this will be continued.