In Coco Mellors’ Blue Sisters, the story follows four sisters whose lives are deeply intertwined, even as they navigate their own challenges and struggles. The book begins with a powerful quotation on the nature of sisterhood:
A sister is not a friend. Who can explain the urge to take a relationship as primal and complex as a sibling and reduce it to something as replaceable, as banal as a friend? Yet this status is used again and again to connote the highest intimacy. My mother is my best friend. My husband is my best friend. No. True sisterhood, the kind where you grew fingernails in the same womb, were pushed screaming through identical birth canals, is not the same as friendship. You don’t choose each other, and there’s no furtive period of getting to know the other. You’re part of each other, right from the start. Look at an umbilical cord—tough, sinuous, unlovely, yet essential—and compare it to a friendship bracelet of brightly woven thread. That is the difference between a sister and a friend. (p. 3)
This opening resonated with me profoundly, especially in moments like these, when I truly miss my oldest brother. It made me realize how essential he is in my life. How he’s not just a sibling but a part of who I am. Unlike friendships or romantic relationships, which are formed by choice, the bond between siblings is something you’re born into. You don’t get to pick your sibling, but despite, or maybe because of this, the connection feels deeper and more enduring. Even though the book focuses on the relationship between sisters, its reflection on the unique, unchosen connection of siblings perfectly aligns with me. My brother is irreplaceable and will grow with me, and has seen me grow my whole life. Reading this book has allowed me to reflect on the importance of siblings and how much they shape us, no matter where life takes us.