Stephen Chbosky’s The Perks of Being a Wallflower is a beloved novel that was written in 1999 and turned into a movie in 2012. The story follows Charlie, a shy and introverted high school freshman, as he struggles with friendships, love and past trauma in his everyday life. It is written in the form of letters which Charlie sends to an anonymous recipient, which gives the reader a deep look into his personal thoughts, emotions and experiences. I really enjoyed this concept because it made the story seem even more personal and as somebody that writes a diary, also very relatable. As he befriends two extroverted seniors, Patrick and Sam, he is introduced to music, books, and begins to feel as if he “belongs” again. The misery slowly starts to dissapear from his daily life, because he finally found friends that loved and cared for him. However, as he begins to heal from past traumas (which are quite unclear to the reader for a while), he also faces a lot of emotional breakdowns and struggles with mental health. Overall the book is quite an emotional rollercoaster and touches on a lot of relatable topics such as self-discovery, love, loss, friendships, and in my opinion – how important it is to truly live in the moment. Towards the end of the story, one of Charlie’s most important realizations comes when he finds peace and understanding, which helps him heal from his past traumas. He finally seems to grasp the reason behind his story and the stories of everybody else and decides, it is best to focus on your own journey and life and stop getting lost in “what if” questions about the past.
So, I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybe we’ll never know most of them. But even if we don’t have the power to choose where we came from, we can still choose where we go from there. We can still do things. And we try to feel okay about them. I think that if I ever have kids, and they are upset, I won’t tell them that people are starving in China or anything like that because it wouldn’t change the fact they were upset. And even if somebody else has it much worse, that doesn’t really change the fact that you have what you have. Good and bad. Just like what my sister said when I had been in the hospital for a while. She said that she was really worried about going to college, and considering what I was going through, she felt really dumb about it. But I don’t know why she would feel dumb. I’d be worried, too. And really, I don’t think I have it any better or worse than she does. I don’t know. It’s just different. Maybe it’s good to put things in perspective, but sometimes, I think that the only perspective is to really be there. Like Sam said. Because it’s okay to feel things. And be who you are about them. (p. 210-211)
This passage really stood out to me and I found myself thinking about its message for quite a while. Since it’s at the end of the story, Charlie finally acknowledges and learns that while our past shapes us, we still have the power to decide how we move forward. I completely agree with this. I believe that whatever happened in your past doesn’t define you, and that everybody is capable of growing past their traumas and experiences, into a new person. After struggling with his past traumas throughout his whole life, Charlie finally meets people that love him for who he is and he realizes that he’s so much more than what has happened to him. His mind doesn’t occupy itself with questions such as “What could’ve happened…?” or “What could I have done differently…?”, instead he’s focused on living in the moment and growing into the person he wants to become. He also realizes that pain and struggles are personal – just because someone else may have a “worse” situation doesn’t mean our own problems aren’t valid. On the contrary, even people in “better” situations might not be doing that much better. His sister feels guilty for worrying about colleges while Charlie is dealing with serious mental health issues, but Charlie reassures her that both struggles matter. Instead of dismissing feelings by comparing them to others, Charlie suggest that the best way to deal with emotions is to fully experience them. This seems to be the key message in the book: showing that personal growth comes from embracing your emotions rather than suppressing them.
Through Charlie’s journey, the novel reminds us that life is filled with both joy and hardship and the most important thing we can do is to be present, acknowledge our feelings and move forward in a way that feels right for us.